The Twins are Here: Birth Story Part 1

Yay!! I'm so happy to not be pregnant anymore. And after all of that I made it to my scheduled induction. My doctor came in Monday morning and said he couldn't believe I actually lasted till 36 weeks and he wouldn't doubt it at all that I could make it another 2 weeks if we didn't induce. Of course since the twins were monochorionic and I was having medical issues we couldn't leave them in for 2 more weeks. I was so nervous about the induction. It was so high risk, a vbac is risky anyway and then add an induction on top of that and it adds to the risk. Most doctors won't attempt a vbac induction, but for a doctor to say yes to a twin vbac induction is almost unheard of and monochorionic on top of that. I knew the risks and I prayed that if I wasn't supposed to have the vbac I would just know. My doctor kept trying to get me to change my mind, but I knew I had to at least try for a vaginal birth. I stayed on bedrest until Sunday and Sunday I went to get my nails done with a friend and then I cleaned a little around the house. I couldn't do much because I was so miserably pregnant that my back and legs would ache if I was up for more than 10 minutes at a time. I was also anxious about the birth that I couldn't think straight. I didn't want to go to bed Sunday night cause I knew that would make the next day come sooner, but I finally did and was able to sleep pretty well.

Monday we woke up at 5 am and went to the hospital. When we got there I got hooked up to an IV and filled out paperwork. The plan was to induce by breaking my water so after I was all hooked up I had to just wait for my doctor which was brutal. He came in at 7:30 and broke my water. I completely freaked out at that point because I knew there was no turning back and the feeling of my water gushing out was unnerving. I was not mentally prepared to have my babies and I was scared for me and them. I immedietely asked for an epidural. I wasn't in any pain whatsoever but I needed to calm myself down and I knew that if I started feeling contractions I was going to lose it. I wasn't scared of pain, just scared of the unknown and all the complications. They brought in anesthesia asap and the anethesiologist asked me to rate my pain, ummmm 0? I told him 2 just to make it sound like I wasn't a complete wuss (which at the time I was) but I was feeling nothing. The worst part about the epidural was having a baby foot in my lungs right where I needed to bend over. It hurt so bad to have to sit there in that position and feel like a baby was going to break a rib any moment. It was finally in and I was able to lay down and get out of that horrible position. They started the pitocin at a 1 and the epidural was started at a 15 so a very low dose. I could still move my legs but it took the edge off all the contractions and made me feel like I was just having a bunch of braxton hicks. Who knows how strong those contractions would have been without the epidural though, I have a feeling they wouldn't have been that painful because they weren't showing up on the monitor very strong and I had an internal monitor that would tell us the intensity of the contractions. We went up in pitocin every 15 minutes. Contractions finally got regular and came every 3 minutes but weren't very strong, I could tell I was having a contraction when I started gushing fluid. With each contraction I gushed. It was so nasty feeling. I dialated to 7 cm within 2 hours but stopped progressing after that. I think what happened is that when he broke my water, Aubree was able to come down more which dialated my cervix but I didn't have contractions strong enough to put me into actual labor. I was exhausted and shaking. I was exhausted because I wasn't able to eat and so my blood sugar was so low, and I was shaking from the epidural as well as them breaking my water. My family was in my room and Mason was running around and I was falling asleep and it was just a very laid back experience. If I ever have another baby, that's what I want labor to be like. With Mason I was in so much pain and I had to concentrate and it was...well, labor. I loved being able to take short naps and have family with me and everything just being so laid back.

At 12:45 my doctor came in and said that he allowed me 3 hours to be at 7cm and he doesn't like that I wasn't progressing. My pitocin was at a 9 and he said that he won't turn it up anymore because he doesn't want to risk the concequences of getting it up too high and causing unnaturally strong contractions. He suggested a csection. I told him I wanted to wait a little longer and see if I could dialate more. He gave me another half hour. I got into a side position and put a "peanut" between my legs that allowed my pelvis to open up more. I tried to shut everything out that was going on around me (not easy when I have a bunch of people in my room) and completely focus on relaxation. I could tell my body was starting to respond but at that point it was too little too late. I didn't dialate within that 30 minute time frame and I knew that if God wanted me to have a vbac, he would have caused some sort of change that would have held us off from having the csection. I quickly said yes to a csection because I knew it was headed down that road anyway and I didn't want to put my body through anymore and end up with a csection anyway and a worse recovery.

Everyone started getting ready for surgery and I was wheeled into the OR. I thought I would be more nervous than what I was. I was very nervous about blood loss, but other than that I was just glad to have a set plan. The csection was weird. I was more aware of what was going on this time and so I felt more tugging and pulling. I knew what they were doing because I felt pressure whenever they would cut, but no pain. Pulling babies out was completely weird because I felt a lot of pressure and then extreme relief. I heard them cry and couldn't believe there was actually two real live babies in there. Once Avalee was out I felt complete relief. I was able to breath and my stomach felt so light. It was a great feeling to not have babies inside me anymore. They showed me Aubree and all I could think was she was so tiny. Then they showed me Avalee and I didn't think it was even possible for her to stay with us, she was the smallest baby I've ever seen in real life. I kept watching the nicu nurses faces while they cleaned up and evaluated Ava. I knew that I could tell if she was doing well by the look on their faces. They finally wrapped her up and gave her to Jared! I couldn't believe we got to keep her with us, I was so ready for them to be taken to the nicu for at least 24 hours. I was sewn back up and I asked the doctor if the placenta had been evaluated. She (the attending doctor) said yes and that there was only one. So we know for sure the twins are identical.

I was taken to recovery and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. My blood sugar had to have been extremely low at that point because The exhaustion I felt was like nothing I had ever had before. I was exhausted but my body was also in a slight birth high so I couldn't sleep but couldn't concentrate on anything either. The nurses gave me Aubree to have her nurse. I knew it was showtime, if they couldn't eat then they would be sent to the nicu so this was important. I tried so hard to get Aubree to eat and finally she started sucking. I was extremely excited! She only ate for 5 minutes, but that was enough to keep her with me. Next was Avalee. She wasn't interested at all. I tried and tried with her and begged her to eat. Finally she latched and sucked a few times. It wasn't much but it was enough to show the nurses that she could do it. Both were coming with me!! :)

I will write more later and post pics of the delivery later. It's meal time for the twins right now.

Home and a Plan

I'm gonna make this short. Mostly because my computer has to sit on my belly and it hurts so much from stretching that I can't stand having it sit here for too long.

I came home on Monday. It's been nice to relax on the couch and eat regular food. I feel so much better eating protein again. Sleeping on the other hand has been a nightmare. At the hospital I could prop the bed up so the babies could get out of my lungs at night, at home I can't do that to the bed and I am up all night just tossing and turning and hoping I get comfortable enough to get a couple hours of sleep. Okay tossing and turning is not exactly what I'm doing, in order for me to turn over on my opposite side I have to practically give myself a pep talk "Okay Megan, you can do this, it's just turning over....Okay good attempt this time lets try a little harder. Phew okay you did it. Now you might as well get up and go to the bathroom. WTH! Why aren't your legs working?!?! Well just don't fall over cause there is no way your gonna get up off the floor if you can't even roll over!!". So that basically happens 5 times during the night.

I'm being induced September 30th at 6am via a small dose of pitocin and breaking my water. I will be exactly 36 weeks. I'm hoping for no nicu time but I know it's a possibility and am prepared for that. I'm slightly hoping to go into labor on my own before then, but at the same time I know that anything before 36 weeks is mandatory 24 hour nicu observation. My nursery is a total wreck and nothing is ready for the babies. I don't know what I'm going to do if I have a csection because I have so much that I need to do in this house. I may ask to be taken off bedrest at the end of next week just so I can get a few things ready. I have almost everything I need, but nothing is washed so it can't be used yet. I was planning on having until at least 32 weeks to get things ready and then I thought if I happened to have the twins too early I would at least have time to get things done while they were in the nicu. I never in 1,000,000 years thought I would be on strict bed rest starting at 28 weeks and ending at a delivery time where they would be big enough to take home. If I had to do it all over again, I would have gotten things ready so much faster, but who plans on this?

That's basically all my news. I have two appointments next week and I need to pack my bags before those appointments. Even after all of this, I don't have a bag packed. lol. 

It's small but this is my countdown board that we updated everyday.

Going Home

34 weeks

Not horrible, but not great either.

Short post because I'm actually emotionally not doing well so I'm keeping things short and to the point right now.
The girls have been taking forever to pass their bpp's ever since 28 weeks. http://www.webmd.com/baby/biophysical-profile-bpp That link will talk about what a bpp is. They pass everything except breathing. My high risk dr said that once they get older they should pass those easily. This has not been the case. Avalee (B) passed last time easily but after 30 minutes Aubree still didn't breath and failed. or got a 6/8 which is a C. After that you need to do an NST to see if the girls will pass the NST http://americanpregnancy.org/prenataltesting/non-stresstest.html. The girls are also failing their NST's which means Aubrey got a 6/10 which is failing.  They seem to be sleeping a lot I guess but I talked to the Dr about possible placenta breakdown today and he said that's a possibility. We have checked fluid levels and done dopplers on the cords so we know that they cords are okay. We just don't know why they fail or it takes forever (over 1 hour) to pass a test when they are 32.3 weeks old. These tests should be easy to pass.

So according to my doctor there is no real concern to take them out just yet. They are just too little, but if this continues we will try to squeeze out as much time as possible when they are inside me and then we will get them out. Dr doesn't think that will be at 36 weeks the way things are going. He thinks more like 34. I'm still hoping for 35, but if things continue like this then I will start thinking more and more about pushing for an immediate delivery. It's reassuring that things don't look horrible on the NST, but not reassuring enough because with monochorionic twins there are a variety of things that can go wrong. The girls move all the time, but just not seeing the heart rate increase with the movement. So we will deliver soon, whether it be because my uterus gives out or because the girls aren't safe in there anymore.

The stress is really getting to me right now and I keep getting letters that require action right away (such as being denied medical coverage for my hospital stay, Mason's medicaid being taken away, a bill for some testing that was done here when we didn't know the doctor wasn't affiliated with this hospital but a hospital in Kansas and my coverage doesn't extend to Kansas). Not to mention missing out on months of Mason's life. So that's where things are at right now.

32 weeks. Woo-flippin-hoo

Break out the champagne (Or sparking grape juice)  because I've now reached one of the biggest goal a twin mom can achieve. Only babies aren't supposed to be born at 32 weeks now are they? They will still have to be in the nicu for a long time. So why is it such a big goal? I guess babies born at 32 weeks do just as well as babies born full term in life. But they still have to go to the nicu and that doesn't set well with me.

So how am I feeling?! Like I have 2 32 week babies inside me that's how. (forgive me for being short today, I'm trying to sit up long enough to update before my back gets way to sore for me to sit anymore. Then I will lay down and pretty soon my hips will get too sore for me to lay down and it will just be a vicious cycle until I take Ambien tonight and get 3 hours of sleep before I'm sore again.) And that pretty much sums up how I'm feeling. I think I would feel better if I was allowed to go outside and swim a little. Now I know why twin moms are told to swim, because it takes the weight off. Speaking of weight, I haven't gained a single pound in a month, but the twins are growing like crazy so I guess that means I'm not eating enough to keep up with their nourishment and mine as well which would explain why I feel so miserable. But the food here is horrible, and since I have GD I have to eat very small portions of the regular meals they serve here. How dare they be asked to serve different food to people with diabetes, just serve the same food only make the potions extra small. Yeah that works. My blood sugar has been all over the place. First it's too high so they put me on meds to keep it down, now it's tending to be to low so they have to get me to eat something to get it back up again. So I eat something and then it's high again. My BP is also very low in the morning so I can't take my heart medication. Today it was 90/49.

Just a quick update since I'm starting to feel sick again, I'm contracting a lot. The ones that scare me are the ones that don't hurt. This is from a few days ago (my last contraction episode) 

They were coming 2 min apart. Not sure when I took this pic. They started to space out to 3 min so I'm not sure if this was taken when they were 2 min or when they were starting to space out. I was given IV fluid and they slowed down enough for everyone to be comfortable with where they were at. What hurts is when contractions don't show up on the monitor, just irritability. Irritability hurts so bad and what's frustrating is that nothing shows up so no one can figure out why I'm in so much pain except that my uterus just freaks out for awhile. Tomorrow I will know more because my doctor is back in the office.

That's all I can really update right now since my back is starting to hurt from sitting up. Maybe tomorrow I will know more. I also think I get a growth scan tomorrow.

Bathroom trips and update

So apparently I haven't been drinking enough water. Wanna know why? Water has to go somewhere and getting up to go to the bathroom is not an easy task. Every time I have to go I have to give myself a pep talk. "Okay Megan, we can do this, its not that far, we can do it!". So now I'm feeling pumped up. First thing I have to do is take off my leg compression thingys 

Each one has 3 straps of velcro and I have to be able to reach my legs to take the dumb things off. Problem is, I can't easily reach my legs. So finally those dumb things come off. Then I have to try and sit my bed up a little. I morn just a little because I have just found my perfect comfortable position and now I have to mess it all up. ;(  Then come the hard part,. actually getting out of bed. I have a massive tummy in my way so forget using stomach muscles to sit up. It's easier when Jared is here, but there is no way I'm using that call button just to have a nurse come in and life my whale of a self out of bed. So I sit back and ponder my next move. As soon as a I have a game plan I usually decide to roll over out of bed. Only one problem, there are sides to this bed and lowering those would just take one extra step in the process and its just not worth it. It's only a bathroom, I can do this!

So instead I roll over the sides bars and then I have to figure out how to stand up. Now when I have company over I'm like superwoman. I figure all this out very quickly because I don't want to seem like a weak woman that can't even get out of bed, but when I'm alone this is all done strategically that has taken about 3 weeks to figure out. There is a chair next to me so I grab onto that and get up. Success!!! Now things are easy. I'm able to hobble to the bathroom (because laying in bed for 3 weeks takes a toll on muscles!).
Okay now it's time to get back into bed. This is much easier. I have to reposition all the pillows that have now fallen and if I sit down I'm not going to get up again even if I have a pillow in the wrong spot. So I position everything the way I want. Then I get into bed. Now I have to put those stupid leg things back on. These are much easier to get off than to get on. I could just unhook them but I never do that, I just wait for one to deflate and then I have to work fast. I put it on my leg and....darn it two of the velcro straps are tangled up and it's a race against time before it inflates again. If it inflates I have to wait awhile for it to deflate so I can tighten it the way that it needs or it will fall right off when it deflates. So i move quickly and untangle the straps. If I'm in a good mood then this is usually pretty easy, if I'm having a bad day then all hell breaks loose and I end up almost breaking the entire strap out of anger. I finally get the leg things back on and lay back in bed only to realize I have to pee again. And the nurses wonder why I don't drink enough or empty my bladder enough. Although I appreciate this a lot more than being pumped full of magnesium and saline and then having to use a bedpan. That was interesting.

Enough bathroom talk, lets update on how I'm doing. I don't remember my last post.  But yesterday I was 31 weeks. 

31 weeks:
Approximately 90% of babies born in the 31st week of pregnancy will survive. Babies born at this gestation typically weigh about 1.5 kg. Babies born at 31 weeks are considered moderately premature.
Babies born at 31 will have some layers of subcutaneous brown fat and their wrinkly skin looks more like that of a term baby. They are mature enough to begin to hold their own body temperature but may still need a little help as they continue to grow. Babies born at 31 weeks use all five of their senses to learn about their environments. Their eyesight is still developing and they can form images- Faces are their favorite form of stimulation. The 31 weeker can also hear quite well and will recognize their parents voices. However, loud noises are often too much for their underdeveloped neurological system and they may startle easily. When they become overwhelmed or have had too much activity they may hiccup, sneeze, or even cry- these are outward signs of overstimulation. By 32 weeks, premature babies are also starting to develop more coordinated sleep-wake cycles and are starting to have periods of REM sleep. They enjoy being swaddled and nesting helps with feeling of security. At this stage, a preemie will be awake more, with alert periods lasting several minutes. However, they still will need a lot of sleep and thrive in a dark and quite environment. It’s important to keep in mind that the 31 weeker’s immune system is still not fully developed and even though they may look like smaller versions of full term babies- they will require special care and handling as their immune system matures and grows. They are beginning to develop their suck but will not be ready to feed from a bottle or breast yet as they have not developed the coordination to suck, swallow, and breathe all at the same time. Pacifier use and kangaroo care while being fed will help develop the patterns necessary for future feedings. All babies born at 31 weeks will require a NICU stay but may quickly catch up to their peers and may have few long term effects of prematurity.(www.peekabooicu.net/2012/02/your-growing-preemie-week-by-week/

So next week we reach a milestone. 32 weeks is when babies usually catch up easily and have no lasting effects. 32 weeks is what all twin moms strive for. The next milestone is 34 weeks  and at that point I will be discharged unless things aren't looking great (like I'm contracting too much) which at that point we will either continue hospital bed rest until 35 weeks or we will induce. 36 weeks is the cutoff point. Funny since 36 weeks is also Jared midterm. I'm thinking he is gonna have to make that one up because I'm not staying on bed rest another day just for a midterm. I love you hunny but this is just too much!!!! I need to get back out into the real world. People joke about how I will just have to wait until 36.1 so Jared can get his midterm done. I laugh but NO! Sorry people, if Dr gives me the option of going that Monday I'm taking it!! No questions asked.

I've had to cut off visitors except for family and ministers. I've realized that too much stimulation makes my uterus go into spasms. This weekend was bad. I've been in labor before and this feels like labor! I try my best to stay calm, but these things are no joke and I'm not a first time mom. Funny how the contractions that weren't painful dilated me and the ones that are don't do a thing. I have to lay on my side with a heating pack until a nurse takes pity on me and gives me morphine. I don't understand why people make such a big deal out of that drug. Maybe getting in it an IV is different, but the shot doesn't really effect me except to make me tired and take the edge off the pain. I did have to laugh when I was in extreme pain and felt like I was almost to transition and a nurse offered me Tylenol. What!?!?!? Seriously? I took it but will Tylenol really help the pain of a uterus that is just out of control? My uterus just suddenly realizes that it's stretched way beyond capacity and just freaks out. I ask the nurses what's going on and they all just say "It's a twin thing". I hate that answer. I wish they would offer me some type of pain control or something. I also ask how will I know when I'm in true labor if this is so painful. "Labor is more painful" is the answer I always get. I'm gonna throw one of my nasty chocolate glucerna at the next person that tells me that. I know what labor feels like. I did it naturally for 24 hours. I got to transition before I got any type of pain meds and the pain meds didn't work so I pushed with pitocin for 3 hours with no pain relief! I know what labor feels like!!!!! It feels like what I'm going through. It feels so bad that I know I hot shower will help but I'm in too much pain to move to get there. It feels so bad that I want someone to rub my back but at the same time I just want to be left alone and no one touch me. It feels so bad that someone suggests moving positions and I just want to stay where I'm and hug my pillow even though maybe moving will help. If that isn't labor pain then what is? Of course during these episodes my cervix will not dialate so I'm not taken seriously. So then the other day I was having contractions show up on the monitor, but feeling no pain. The nurse told me that I had to feel pain in order to dialate. WHAT!!!! Okay so I come in the hospital in no pain and realize I'm in labor and dialate quickly and don't feel a thing. Then i get contractions where I feel like I'm dying and I don't dialate at all. So I tell the nurse I should be checked cause nonpainful contractions seem to change my cervix. She said no, I have to be in pain and since this wasn't pain I was just having irritability. I got very frusterated but I knew Dr Hall would be checking my cervix the next day so I just waited. The next day he said my cervix had changed and I was now 85% effaced. So I was right!! I know my body! I don't have to be in pain for my cervix to change. I tried to tell people that but no one listened. I feel very validated. I don't want my cervix to change but I love being right. :)

So that's where I'm at, just waiting to go home or waiting till something happens. Does anyone think I will go home? No. But I'm still holding out hope for a couple take home babies. Although some time with Mason by myself would be nice.

God doesn't always answer prayer the way we want.

I haven't posted my nicu update so I will do that.

30 weeks:
Babies born at 30 weeks gestation have a 90-95 percent chance of survival. Babies born at this gestation will typically weigh about 1.3 kg. Babies born at 30 will have some layers of subcutaneous brown fat and will be mature enough to begin to hold their own body temperature but will often still need a little help as they continue to grow. The eyes can now blink and respond to light and to dark. Their retinas are still developing (making them at risk for retinopathy of prematurity) but their eyes can form images. Although the 30 weeker can hear your voice, loud noises are often too much for their underdeveloped neurological system and they will startle easily. When the 30 weeker gets overwhelmed or has had too much activity they may hiccup, sneeze, or even cry- these are outward signs of overstimulation. The bright lights may also be too much for them to handle and they may tire easily. By 30 weeks, premature babies are also starting to develop more coordinated sleep-wake cycles and are starting to have periods of REM sleep. At this stage, a preemie will be awake more, with alert periods lasting several minutes. However, they still will need a lot of sleep and thrive in a dark and quite environment. They are beginning to develop their suck but will not be ready to feed from a bottle or breast yet as they have not developed the coordination to suck, swallow, and breathe all at the same time. Pacifier use and kangaroo care while being fed will help develop the patterns necessary for future feedings. Premature babies born at 30 weeks gestation will still require long NICU stays but may not have some of the more complex medical issues that come with being born at an earlier gestation. (www.peekabooicu.net/2012/02/your-growing-preemie-week-by-week/)

So I'm basically contracting daily now. No more dialation but my doctor said my uterus is gearing up for labor and eventually it's just going to kick into gear and dialate me very quickly. The contractions are very painful and I'm having a lot of back labor. It happens once or twice a day now. I'm also feeling "off". I can't explain it other than to say I just don't feel right.

Today I talked to Jared and I said I was frustrated because I felt like I wasn't trusting God and the administration. I said that I need to trust him that I will make it to 35 weeks because I'm being administered to so much and it's unfair that I feel like I'm going to have these babies very soon. Jared reminded me that that's not what administration is for, it's to place things in Gods hands and to pray that Gods will will be done and praying for a blessing for me, Avalee, and Aubree. So I've accepted that I will probably not get what I want and deliver at 35 weeks. It could happen if that's Gods will, but if it's not, God will grant us all a blessing and we will all be okay. Avalee and Aubree are fighters and making it to 30 weeks is huge. We are very close to 31 also and I feel like we can make it to 31, maybe even 32 although 32 is pushing it. Jared told me that God knows what's best and maybe the answer to prayer is the twins need to come out soon because there is some danger inutero that no one can see and they need to come out. Or that that later on their health or mine will be compromised and he is protecting us. Who knows? Either way I'm trying to come to the acceptance that we will be nicu parents and not bring our babies home for a long time. But I do believe that God will bless the twins and they will be strong when they are born. I'm no so much worried for them as I am sad that they will have to endure all the things the nicu brings and also I won't bring them home when I go home like I had originally planned. But the important thing is that I'm 30.3 weeks pregnant and still not in labor so we can make it a little longer (or a lot longer, who knows)

Now I'm gonna take an Ambian and listen to this lady next door labor. It sounds like her husband/partner is watching a football game and cheering. This is our entertainment for the night. :)

Preterm Labor take 2

Yep, it happened again. Monday my OB came in and checked my cervix and said that I wasn't dialating anymore and he wanted to send me home on Thursday. I was very uneasy about this. I was trying to convince myself that I was just uneasy because I was scared to not have 24/7 help available to me, but I could never shake the uneasy feeling. So I said a prayer and asked God that if I wasn't supposed to come home he would make something happen that would keep me here and I was placing this situation in his hands. He got to work asap.

At 1 AM Tuesday morning I woke up to a contraction. I went to the bathroom and came back to bed. I felt another one and this one was painful. I went back to the bathroom and felt a contraction on the toilet. I was very uneasy and knew something wasn't right. I went back to bed and felt another painful contraction. I knew at that point something was waaaay off. I paged my nurse and she got me on a monitor. She watched me for 10 minutes and came back in and was like "do you feel like you can get off the monitor?" I was like "I don't know lady, you tell me, your the nurse. Am I okay!?!?" Ok so I wasn't rude about it cause I try to suck up to all my nurses but this nurse has made me mad a couple times by not caring if my babies come off the monitors and not attempting to get them back on. She asked if I was still feeling contractions and I told her yes. She said she would leave me on for 10 more minutes and then take me off. I sure showed her. In those 10 minutes I started contracting every 2-3 minutes. These aren't the same contractions as the ones I felt during preterm labor take 1. These were mean and painful and back labor. I was in pain. She came back in 30 minutes later and flipped on the light and asked me if I was in pain. I told her yes and she said I was having a lot of contractions she was going to check my cervix and then get the doctor. She checked me and I was still a 4 and 80% so these weren't dialating me.

She then got the doctor and the doctor told her to put me on saline just in case I was dehydrated. She started the saline and left it for 2 hours. In that time the pain got worse. My back was hurting and I was vocalizing with each contraction. Every time I had to get up to pee I would get shivers and would shiver uncontrollably even though I wasn't cold. I knew this was my answer to prayer and that I wasn't going to deliver, but I was still in a lot of pain. We put the heating pad behind my back to help with the back pain and waited to see what the doctor would say. The saline wasn't working so the doctor had them give me a shot of morphine. The morphine helped for maybe 45 minutes and then the contractions felt stronger. I was checked again and no dialation which was very good but didn't help the pain I was in. I was given another shot of morphine and contractions slowed enough for me to get some sleep. I slept for maybe an hour and was woken up by a nasty contraction. After awhile I decided it must be some other type of pain because contractions don't last that long. My nurse was there watching. She asked "Did you feel that 5 minute contraction?" Yes I felt that!! Was that a contraction??? Do contractions even last that long!?!?!?! The babies weren't phased by the contraction but I sure was. I was given tylenol and I was able to get some sleep.

My doctor came in and said that I wasn't going home this week. He also said what it looks like is my uterus is going to start a trend where if contracts like this every couple days but we get no dialation. He said eventually it will kick into gear and I will have another episode of contractions, my uterus will dialate and we will have babies. But he wouldn't be surprised to see me have more of these contractions and that's the reason we are staying in the hospital (praying we stay in for a long time, I just don't feel safe at home I want my babies to be monitored and I don't want to make fifty billion trips to labor and delivery).

So contractions were gone and I was able to get some sleep. I slept for about 2 hours when I was woken up by the worst contraction. It surprised me and all I could do was thrash around the bed. I'm sure no one could tell it was a contraction the way I was moving. The pain just kept coming. FINALLY it stopped and I immediately took a shower so the hot water would help calm my uterus. So that brings us to now. No contractions anymore (at least that I know of, I'm no longer hooked up) and so tired I can't keep my eyes open

And for your viewing pleasure this is the lovely contraction that woke me up out of a deep sleep this morning. It doesn't look like a regular contraction because I was thrashing around in bed. This one didn't last as long as my other very painful one but notice the irritablity afterwards or the "aftershocks" that may look small but they still hurt. The lovely little zigzag line is me sleeping and then BAM!!! The stupid thing hits and I'm feeling like screaming. I wonder what it would have looked like if I would have stayed still, but at the time I was in so much pain I didn't care.