Again sorry for the typos. I'm still hooked up to this IV and it makes it very hard to write. On the plus side I got my second IV out :). I don't remember where I left off, but I think it was right after labor stopped. Because I was progressing so fast they had to use a catheter on me since I wasn't allowed to get up. They inserted it and I knew it was going to be a problem. No one can relax enough to stop labor with a catheter up there "You know what". So contractions were getting strong enough that I could feel tightening. I complained a lot about that catheter. It made me feel like I had to pee all the time and that was not a feeling I needed to have when I was focusing on doing everything possible to stop labor. Finally a nurse listened and took it out. She checked me again and I had dialated more and so she told me I had to use a catheter or bedpan cause I couldn't get up. Bedpan 100% lady!!!! I may wet the bed a little but its so much better than a dang catheter.
So contractions slowed down and I was able to really relax more. I was still on a labor and delivery bed but I was exhausted so I tried to get some sleep. It was a terrible night because the labor beds were not made to be slept on and I had nurses coming in all the time to check on me. I always asked what my contractions were doing because I never could feel what was going on in my uterus. The same answer everytime "there is some irritability with a few real contractions mixed in". I didn't like that answer. I wanted my uterus to be calm but an irritable uterus usually doesn't cause dialation so I took it.
Oh I forgot to mention what happened after contractions stopped. So they stopped and my doctor finally allowed me to eat (At this point I hadn't had a bite to eat since 7am when I was on my way to work). I leaned over to get food and that's when I felt it. My heart started beating out of my chest. It was beating so hard and so fast that I knew something was not right. I held my chest and looked at my nurse and said "My heart, something is wrong". She looked at my monitor and I knew she was concerned as well. She flipped off all monitors and told me to hold my breath and then push at my chest wall and keep doing that. She ran out to get a doctor. She came back in and said she needed to hook the babies back up to the monitor. Apparently in her moment of panic about my health she failed to realize that my tachycardia could be causing the babies distress and we would have to get them out. She finally got them on and a cardiology team was called in. They did an EKG. My heart had gone from 100bpm to 180bpm in only one heartbeat and we couldn't get it to come down. My doctor was in slight panic mode I guess because she did the one thing that she could think of, she started a second IV and gave me adenosine quickly. That stuff is no joke!!!!! It felt like someone had taken a paddle to my chest and stopped my heart. Later I realized that adenosine can cause a brief moment where you heart actually does stop. I felt my whole body being electrocuted. It only lasted 2 seconds but it was a terrible 2 seconds. It worked though and my heartrate came right down to normal. The girls didn't seem to mind the trauma mommy went through at all. After that episode the cardiologist put me on beta blockers to keep that from happening again. Apparently I have supraventricular tachycardia that I'm predisposed to but pregnancy added just enough stress to my heart that I had a full blown episode. Thank God I was in the hospital when it happened.
The magnesium sulfate took away my appetite and also took away my ability to open my eyes and really focus on any conversation. It made me very hot and so apparently my room was very cold, but I was burning up. Magnesium sulfate is a muscle relaxer and it sure did it's job.
Early Thursday morning I woke up and couldn't breath. I felt this huge weight on my chest and wasn't able to get all the air I needed. I paged the nurse and she got a doctor in as soon as possible. I told him what was going on and they gave me a GI cocktail just in case I was having a heart attack. That stuff was nasty, it had lidocaine in it so it made everything numb which isn't a great feeling to have when you already can't breath. They then ran another EKG and had a doppler ran on my legs to rule out blood clots and I had a chest xray and a heart ultrasound. Everything came back normal which was good, but also frusterating because my chest pain was getting worse and I was gasping for air. They then gave me a wonderful drug called Stadol. That stuff is what butterflies and unicorns are made off. As soon as it took effect I was floating in a sea of red George Washingtons and as I landed I realized that I was in the middle of the building of the dollar bill, only the dollar bill was being built out of tennis balls. That stuff was fun and I told my nurse that if I made it to my csection date I wanted that stuff to calm me down. After awhile I started to come around and realized that the chest pain was still there. I paged a nurse and said " Sleepy Megan doesn't care about this chest pain, but as soon as she wakes up, awake Megan is going to want to breath again." So they paged the cardiology team and we talked. I guess I scared the cardiologist so bad with all the gasping that he immedietely ordered a CT scan and said that yes it can have some effects on the babies, but this was a critical situation and we may need to take the babies asap if we can't get this under control. Ct scan came back fine and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. It was determined that I was either having anxiety attacks or I was having a reaction to my heart medication. I was given anti anxiety meds and taken off all heart meds as well as magnesium. After 12 hours I could breath again and the chest pain was gone. The final diagnosis was anxiety and I was allowed back on the heart meds since my heart problems were a big concern.
I was finally allowed to take a shower which was a big accomplishment since before now it's been get up to pee and straight back to bed. I have to sit in a chair in the shower since I'm not allowed to get up much, but it felt so good. I took my last oral labor stopping drug today so now I'm on my own. If labor starts again then we will go back on magnesium to help the babies brains, but there isn't a whole lot they can do to stop labor. I'm so far progressed that they will basically just let babies come so prayers that my body cooperates. No more contractions. We have also been taken off the monitors so I am monitored twice a day now instead of full time. All the nurses comment on how the babies act like they are much older than 28 weekers because they are so active and tolerate contractions well. They said most 28 weekers don't tolerate labor at all and need to be taken in an emergency situation.
Just to be clear, the situation we were in was dangerous. Very very dangerous. I didn't realize how bad it was until I toured the NICU today. The girls beds are already labeled and ready to go for when they get here. We were so close to delivering two very young babies and it all hit me today when I saw their beds. I've had the attitude of "Lets get down to business". Ever since we conceived these babies, with the bleeding, and the dangers of TTTS, and now the preterm labor, I've never actually allowed myself to feel any emotion. I did feel some emotion when didn't let me eat donuts but other then that it's been all business. Today after seeing the twins beds it all hit me and all the emotions I've been bottling up just came out.
I want to have babies that I get to hold and get to cuddle while I'm in my recovery room. I want to dress them in all the cute clothes I've gotten them. I shouldn't have to worry everyday if they will survive another day. I want to take them home and introduce them to Mason. I want to have a normal birth experience. The fact that that's being ripped away from me just hit me and made me emotional. I was able to pull it together and get back into the "business mode", because even though I want to feel emotion I don't have that luxery. My job is to keep these babies in and not be selfish about my own wants and desires. I'm a mom and moms don't always get to "feel" they have to be strong for their children. So there was my moment of weakness. Now it's time to get back to business and .....lay around a hospital room for another few weeks. lol. Jared goes back to school tomorrow and I'm freaked out. I rely on him so much but he told me that he would come right back after school is over. I guess tomorrow I will do a lot of online shopping. :)
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