Was this a God thing?

I'm getting ready for my first ultrasound at my high risk doctor so this will (hopefully) be short and then I will return this afternoon with a 15 week update and cross my fingers and toes I will announce a date and time I will do my blog gender reveal!!

Over a week ago I wrote a blog post titled "This is MY birth". You didn't see it because I didn't post it. Something stopped me. In that post I was ranting because some hippie told me I should give birth naturally to my babies and that I need a different doctor that was more natural birth friendly. I was very angry because this is MY birth. My decision, my babies, my life. I didn't want a natural birth (I still don't). I wanted a csection. Why? Because I had gotten false information from a group of women on facebook called Modi Twins. In case you all forgot, Modi twins is what I'm carrying. The ladies drug one woman through the dirt because she wanted to try a vbac with her modi twins and was looking for positive stories. The women on the group told her that she was going to kill her babies and that Acute TTTS is very common during vaginal delivery. I bought into that without even asking for sources or doing my own research.

I was at work last week and Jared started messaging me all these pubmed research articles on why vaginal is just as dangerous as csection for modi twins and actually vaginal may be better in some cases because modi twins need to be born before 37 weeks and vaginal will help their lungs so they won't have to spend as much or any time in the nicu. I was floored when I saw his research. I was sure that these ladies were right and that csection was best. I did my own research and couldn't find a single article that said csection was best. In fact all i found was a bunch of articles saying that vaginal should be attempted in an uncomplicated twin pregnancy.

So I went to the group and asked for their sources on why vaginal is bad for modi twins. I wanted to research everything and make an informed decision. What happened?? They couldn't find a single research article. They told me that such articles don't exist because of a government conspiracy to stop csections because of the rising cost of healthcare. Then one of the admins gave me this message :

OK Megan Norman, A "Research Study on PubMed that says Vaginal is Better..." Does Not Exist for MoDi. You can have your Husband the Med Student Holla to me with a PM for a Concise Explanation of what the Shared Placenta implies during birth... Again, please don't Misunderstand us here, We do not say that VBirth is Impossible in MoDi, We do say that in the Majority of cases it is in fact Ill Advised due to Unique Safety Issues involving Shared Placentation. There is a Study Recently released from SMFM that is Touted by many self-styled "NCB Advocates" as saying "VBirth for Twins is AS SAFE as Csec..." Which is a Distortion involving the Dropped Word PLANNED... What this study Really Says is PLANNING VBirth is as safe as PLANNING CSec. I'll post the Abstract of that one here this morning, it's a Hoot, in that Among Other Things, in the Fine Print, it mentions that a Teensie Tiny Itsy Bitsy Very Small Forty Two Percent (42%) of these PLANNED Vbirths end up Converting to CSection... That is for Both Twinz btw. None of the "NCB peeps" mention this Minor Detail. ALSO, Their Definition of a Successful Vaginal Birth? ONE baby through the Birth Canal, & you are One of the Lucky Winners! EVEN of the Other Twin needs to be Taken by CSection... What they might want to say, so as Not to Mislead, is something like "Mothers of Twins, Go Plan Your Spiritually Powerful Vaginal Birth. You Probably Will Not Get It, your odds of Actually giving VBirth to your twins are roughly equal to about 20%. The rest of you will get a CSection...."

Um can you say offensive?!?!?!?! I wasn't thinking of a vaginal birth because it's "spiritual" I was thinking about it because I want more kids and csections put my future babies at risk. They also put me at risk of eventually losing my uterus, especially if I keep having twins (oh please no more twins!). 

I know I'm not a good candidate for a vbac. Modi twins, my csection site has been sore, and I'm small. But maybe God is trying to tell me to try. This admin told me I have a 20% chance of a successful vbac. My doctor told me I have a 14% chance (although he is willing to attempt one if I want one), but if God wants me to have one then I have a 100% chance. There has to be a reason I wrote that big long blog post and then felt so uneasy about posting it that it's just been sitting as a draft for awhile. 

Maybe it was a God thing.