The beginning of our crazy journey

As the title of my blog states, my husband is a medical student. I don't think many people knows what that actually means. I tell people "My husband is a med student" and everyone is either like "Oh thats Great!!" or "Does he know what he wants to do yet?". There has only been one person who has given us a response that is true to our situation and that is my OBGYN. He asked my husband what year he was and Jared said 1st year and my doctor about fell off his stool laughing. Yep, medical school isn't like anything anyone can ever imagine unless you have actually experienced it. Imagine having to know every little thing about a persons body, every little disease and how it affects the different body systems, and every little drug that will help that disease while also knowing what drugs are contraindicated for people with certain conditions. Now imagine you have to learn all that in TWO YEARS!!! So when people mention the term "Med School Widow", yes people that is a real thing. I am a med school widow. I see Jared at bedtime and after midterms and finals. He disappears for 6 week blocks and then I get him for 1 weekend (or more if there is a long break) and then he goes into hiding again until the next block is over. So that's part of my life right now. Jared has 1 more year of classes, 2 years of clinicals and 3 or more years of residency.

We have one son, Mason, who is 14 months old. We struggled with infertility for 3 years before we had him. We finally got medical help and after 3 IUI's we conceived Mason and had a very smooth pregnancy and a complicated delivery that lasted 40 hours and ended in a csection. I always kind of wanted twins until I conceived Mason. Once I started getting bigger I laughed at myself everytime I remembered that I originally wanted twins. Carrying one was hard enough, and that was with an easy pregnancy.

Fast forward to February of this year. I started feeling very "off". I was craving chips and salsa like crazy (my first symptom with Mason.) BTW if anyone wants an insanely good pregnancy salsa recipe I have just the one. I lived off of this salsa for the first couple weeks of both pregnancies. Anyway, I bought a pregnancy test and it was inconclusive. I thought there was a line, but wasn't sure. Two days later on Valentine's day I took another test. Jared was with me and I showed him the test and said started talking about how I hate this brand of test because it always has a line and then it disappears. As I was talking I looked at the test and realized the line wasn't disappearing. It in fact was getting very dark pink!! I grabbed the test and I panicked. How was I pregnant?!?!? I was supposed to be infertile. How did I end up having an accidental pregnancy!?? Jared and I went to bed that night just staring at a wall. Neither of us knew how we would manage a baby during med school.

At 6 weeks pregnant I started having some horrible cramping. I went to the ER where they did an ultrasound. The tech found the heartrate of 111. I was over the moon!! I had a living child inside me. :) My joy was short lived when the tech turned the screen away from me so I couldn't see what she was looking at, but she couldn't hide her face. She looked concerned. She took a lot of measurements and I was sure she found something wrong with my tubes. After a few minutes she looked straight at me and said "Now I don't want you to panic just yet alright because I could be wrong, but I see two heartbeats". I immediately panicked. Jared was just laughing at me as I went through all different kinds of emotions. I went from being excited to scared. Twins means twice the risk, twice the money, twice the attention, and a freaking huge belly!!!!! I don't think anyone can bounce back fully after having a twin belly. I didnt realize how much of a nightmare this pregnancy really would be. I'll talk about that in another post though.

So my new reality is that I'm married to a med student and soon will have 3 kids under 2. Fasten your seat belts folks. Things are gonna get interesting.